The Sleep Train has left the station
Always make sure that your baby is not suffering from any ailments before attempting to sleep train
Despite my efforts, our son was no longer settling easily at bedtime. It became a warzone once again and this mamma was tired after a day spent loving on and caring for and stimulating her boy. I needed him to sleep so that I could just have an evening to spend with my husband (our partners can easily become neglected when we feel drained after a day of mommying).
It was time to call in a specialist and so we got in touch with a Munchkins Parent Coach. I never thought we would need one as I had done so much research and read books and… and… and… but in reality having someone skilled to talk through your real-life scenarios with is often the best way to find a solution.
Let me make this declaration:
I love my son with my whole heart and soul, and every fibre of who I am. He is part of me – flesh of my flesh. However, like any other part of me, there comes a time when training is required for that part to become fit and strong. That training could hurt, but if trained well the end result would always equal something stronger and healthier. I always knew that it would be best to train my son in the art of self-soothing so that he could sleep well. I just had to be ready to board that train. I knew it might hurt (me more than him), and that there would be tears (both of ours).
I had to be ready to board the sleep train
I made contact with a parent coach that came highly recommended by a good friend. We had bought our tickets and we ready to board. The only problem was that the coach could only come to see me in THREE WEEKS TIME. YIKES! I was desperate. So I did what I do best – I started reading up on self-soothing: the cry out method versus a more gentle approach.
I decided to attempt my own mix of the two. I would not rock him to sleep. I put him in his cot while he was still awake, but drowsy and stay in the room with him initially. The lights were turned out. No eye contact, no talking and no picking him up.. I would tickle his head though, as I found this helped him get sleepy. I eventually managed to get him to settle on his own for day time naps, with minimal tears. However, night time was a totally different story. Nothing was working, he was not able to settle himself to sleep AND he was waking in the early hours of the morning – often crying and not going back to sleep for more than an hour.
Often it is the smallest things that needs adjusting….
When we finally met with the coach. She suggested that we move his dinner time to one hour later than it currently was and that our routine becomes dinner, bath, bottle and bed. It seems the issue was that he was getting overtired at night which meant he struggled to self-sooth, and because dinner was too early he would get hungry early in the morning hence waking and often only settling after a bottle. More so, he needed a simple routine that allowed him to prepare himself for sleep time. We also agreed to give him his pacifier only at nap and bedtimes, and to introduce a sleep soother blanket only at nap and bedtime.
Implementing those small changes made a huge difference. Within two days he understood what it meant when I put the soothing blanket over my shoulder. He would put his head down on my shoulder and then could I rock him for a few seconds, speaking words of love and praise into his ear. I could lay him dow still awake and he self-soothed easily, asleep within minutes of being put down in his crib. From the first night he slept for over 12 hours and has done so ever since. He now wakes up happier and well-rested.
The revelations we have had:
We are called to train our children so that he may be healthy well-balanced adults one day. It starts with what we do when they are babies.
You are not your child’s friend – you are the caregiver, coach, provider and protector. Calm, happy bedtimes with a good night’s sleep is a way of lovingly providing for your child.
Babies cry as a form of communication and sometimes what they want to tell you is “I don’t like this” – as in the case when teaching the baby to self-soothe. Of course, your baby wants you, you’re the best soother in the world. If you know that all of your baby’s needs have been met – he is healthy, fed, dry, comfy, warm and safe – then don’t feel bad about the crying . Your baby is just protesting in the only way he knows how. It will pass (sooner than you think).
Happy baby, happy mommy… Everybody wins!
So, let me encourage you to go for it. Sleep train. My boy wakes up singing and happily babbling. I am well rested and can function better. Most importantly, I can be a better wife to my hubby and have happier playtimes with my boy because we are both in a better space. Everybody wins.