The last thing a new mommy thinks about, is her baby having to go back into hospital when he is just 5 days old…..
The first few days after our baby was born were filled with skin-on-skin snuggles, long naps to recover from the birth (they don’t call it labour for nothing) and getting the handle on breastfeeding. During my pregnancy I would dream about breastfeeding my child – literally. It was a strong desire of my heart and I was so excited to be able to share in that bonding experience with my baby.
Like any mom who has done research on breastfeeding (and for those who haven’t yet here is the crux of it), I knew that the first few days was all about the “liquid gold” Colostrum. The body produces it immediately after giving birth and it is nutrient rich, full of anti-bodies and loaded with everything the baby needs in those early days. A mommy’s milk supply usually only comes in around day three, day four after birth. For me, those first few days of breastfeeding felt a bit clumsy, but my boy seemed to be getting the colostrum. The tell-tale signs, I was told, was that he was producing enough wet and dirty diapers. However, before we left the hospital, we noticed that he started to looked a little yellow. His bilirubin count was marginally high causing the slight yellow tint (jaundice), but we were told it was normal and generally speaking it should sort itself out. So we left the hospital and looked forward to settling in at home.
“What Causes Newborn Jaundice?
Jaundice typically occurs because newborns normally produce increased levels of bilirubin. Bilirubin, which is yellowish in color, is produced when red blood cells are broken down. Bilirubin is removed from the bloodstream by the liver. In newborns, the body may produce more bilirubin than the liver can process.”
Fortunately we had scheduled our boy’s first check up at the baby clinic for the day after we got home from the hospital. The nurse checked his count and found that it had increased slightly. Nevertheless we were told that there was still no need for concern. We needed to make sure he was feeding well and it was suggested to go get blood tests done later that week (just as precaution).
The forth day after I gave birth my milk had arrived. I was still not sure my baby was latching properly, so I decided to try nipple shields that someone had put in one of my baby shower gift bags.
I was cautioned against using the shields by many:
- It will hinder your supply as your nipples won’t get enough stimulation
- Your baby will get nipple confusion
- It will make your baby lazy….
- Blah blah blah…
I am sure that all of these concerns were valid, BUT using the shield gave me the peace and satisfaction in knowing that my breasts were producing milk and that my baby was getting it. Be that as it may, we still had to do the blood tests that next day. Morning came and we went for the test. Urgh it is the WORST thing watching someone stick a needle into your new born baby. Yes it was a heel prick but still – agony! We got the call from the Paed about two hours later.
I was obviously still adjusting to being home with a baby and, as I mentioned earlier, we were all still recovering from labour. I had brain fog and was completely sleep deprived. All through the phone call with the Paed I was struggling to fully grasp what he was telling me. I thought he wanted us to come in to his office for a consultation, but what was eventually made clear was that WE WERE BEING BOOKED INTO HOSPITAL!
We arrived at the hospital and my husband was tasked with the paperwork required for admission. I was on the paediatric floor answering questions required to get my baby properly set up. As the questions were coming I was getting more confused, brain fog! I was struggling to communicate with the head nurse and this was making me more frustrated. I kept asking the nurse to call the Paed and tell him that we were here, but she kept wanting me to answer the questions. And then, I completely lost it. I recall getting so angry with the nurse and yelling at her. I was livid that she was making me sit there and answer questions when I had not yet seen the doctor. For example – she wanted to know about my baby’s dummy; where his bottle was; what formula they could give for top up feeds? He was 5 days old and I was exclusively breastfeeding! All the books I read said no bottle or dummy for the first few weeks in order to prevent nipple confusion… So, I had no answers for her.
Then one of the nurses put a mask over the eyes of my 5 day old baby, took him out of my arms and put him in an incubator with the blue lights. (Cue the mamma tears). Someone came and took blood from my baby, the second time he had given blood that day. My heart was breaking. When the tests came back the Paed came to see us. He advised that my boy’s bilirubin count was high – close to dangerously high – and that we needed to keep him under the lights. Only to be removed for feeds every 2.5 to 3 hours.
My husband wasn’t allowed to stay with me in hospital that night. It was the first time I had been alone with our son. He left with a tear stained shirt. I could hardly sleep between feeds and hated being so far away from my baby. Up till now my boy slept next to me in bed – so having him in an incubator across the room was utter torment.
I tried feeding him, then the night nurse came in and gave him top up formula from a cup. My sweet boy was needing to be fed top up formula because, somehow, he was not able to get enough milk from me. I felt like I was already failing him. To add to this, one of the nurses thought it wise to mention that my boy was probably under the lights because I insisted on breastfeeding. She said that if I had bottle fed when we left the hospital, he would probably be fine. I was speechless! All I could do was smile at her. Inside I wanted to scream, but deep in my hormonal haze and tired confusion, I just smiled…..