Happy, Healthy and Fed: Part 2

Before I continue with part 2 of my story, let me state that I respect a mother’s right to decide how she wants to feed her baby – if it comes down to it, bottle or boob, fed is best. 

Dear Mom-to-be,
I am sharing this story with you, because I want to encourage you to fight for your ability to breastfeed your baby.

That first night in hospital, seeing my baby under the blue lights and not having my husband with me, had me experiencing many sad emotions. I am sure the postnatal hormones only added my overwhelming sadness – I cried and I cried. The burden that weighed heavily on my heart was the assumption that I was not giving my boy enough sustenance. Most of that night I was on the phone to friends – texting, ranting, crying and praying.  I recall asking a close friend why God would give me breasts if I couldn’t use them to properly feed my baby.  I was really angry at God. Nevertheless, in the midst of my circumstance He showed Himself to be merciful and full of grace.

The next morning another friend called to say she had a sense that she needed to come and see me.  She came to the hospital and brought along her a breast pump and some ‘mommy juice’ that would keep me hydrated and was filled with all the necessary goodness to keep my milk supply on the up.  She also brought along a dummy for my baby. During the night I had to watch and listen to my boy cry because he was unable to self soothe. It was a struggle to put my arms through those incubator holes to try and soothe him. Fortunately the second I slipped that dummy into his mouth, he was calm. 

I immediately attempted to express milk with the breast pump. I wanted to see exactly how much milk I had. Now I know that there is another ‘rule’ that suggests one should not express milk before 6 weeks as this will confuse your milk supply.  I understand that fully – but it was not my intention to exclusively express going forward. I just wanted to give my baby MY MILK for his top up feeds, instead of formula. To my amazement, I could get 10ml of milk.  That doesn’t sound like a lot, but that was all my baby needed for top up feeds. 

Later that day a lactation consultant arrived and I showed her how I was positioning my baby and how he was latching.  She was wonderful. She  gave me a few pointers on where to adjust my position and encouraged me to keep practising.  She also encouraged me to use the shield if it make me feel more comfortable. As long as the baby was feeding.  (You see, both you and your baby have to learn to breastfeed.  We see moms who breastfeed with ease, but the truth is as easy as it looks and as natural as it seems, it can take a while to be perfected. Babies can sometimes forget how from one latch to the next.  Also we are conditioned to watch the clock, but babies don’t know about clocks.  They just want to be close to the good stuff.)  What worked for me is feeding my baby every three hours max, unless he showed signs (any sign) of wanting something sooner.  I found a balance between watching my baby and watching the clock – that worked for my personality and it ensured that my baby was getting milk regularly.

For the rest of my stay in the paediatric ward I would express some milk, then try latch him at feeding time (using the shield) and then give him a top up.  I stopped allowing the nurses in to feed my baby with formula. I would keep record and update them as to when he was on my breast and when I gave him his top up feed.  I would express into a bottle and then use a syringe to draw in the milk and drop it into his mouth.  It worked.  He gained weight.  His billirubin count came down beautifully and the next day we went home!!!  I continued to use the nipple shield for every feed thereafter.  Gradually, during the feeds, I would remove the shield and my boy would happily continue to feed on me. Yes we had hits and misses, but I fought for the ability to feed my baby the way I had hoped to.  By the time we reached our six week mark we no longer needed the shield.

The testimony in my story is that my exclusively breast fed boy picked up so much weight that many started joking that I was producing condensed milk. I went from feeling that I couldn’t do it – to seeing just go well I could. At about  5 months of age our little guy was weighing 9.16kgs… and completely healthy.  What a miracle!!   Our son is now 8 months old and I am no longer breastfeeding. I started phasing in formula around 6, so I am not one of those moms that just kept going . I needed to make the transition and I think that, all things considered, I had done damn well keeping him ‘on the boob’ for so long.  

So, again, to anyone who is about to welcome their new baby and wants to breastfeed, know that sometimes you FIGHT FOR IT! Breastfeeding is not always easy – but one of the most amazing and beautiful things that you can share with your baby.  That said – I still stand by my earlier the statement that FED is best.  Good luck mamma!!