I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored…….
In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
(lyrics: Hillsong)
It has been a long time since I had the opportunity to put my fingers to a keyboard and note some of my thoughts. I am sitting in my son’s playroom as I write this. The backdoor is open and a light breeze, accompanying this unusually warm autumn day, is allowing the scent of Jasmine from the neighbour’s garden and the rustling leaves of a nearby tree to tease my senses.
I am feeling relaxed, probably as a result of the long hot bath, I got to enjoy this morning. During my soak, I had time to up on my devotional reading (I was a few days behind); listen to (part of) a podcast and I was able to just be still for a while and let my mind focus on God.
In the busyness of family life, I often find that it can be difficult to find time to be still and connect with God. My first thought is, “I barely get time for myself!”. But the truth is that if time for me is more valuable than time with God, then I have my priorities all wrong. The daily inconsistencies of parenting rattle me – it’s still something that I am still getting used to. At times I find myself acting in ways that aren’t Christ-like and ‘set apart’. As a result, I am made more aware of the need for Jesus’ forgiveness and grace in my life. I have been challenged regarding my intentionality in time spent with God. You see, I don’t need more of me – I need more of Jesus in me.
My goal: reading, listening to or hearing the spoken Word and being in a regular posture of prayer. It is easy? NO! Do I get it right all the time? NO! But I have had a revelation and it has propelled me to change. The hard truth is that we have not been called to a relationship of convenience with God. Think about it, God deserves nothing less than our utmost devotion – regardless of the cost. The Bible says “we need to deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Jesus” (Luke 9:23). Therefore our walk with Jesus requires effort, it requires action – it requires sacrifice because as Christ-followers our deepest desire must be to know Him and be known by Him.
So my aim is to say no to more me-time, and yes to more of Him.